Dear Autism Mom

Whether you are new to this title or a long-term veteran, I feel you. Today, you may be feeling exhausted, defeated, and alone, and trust me, I get it. For the times I have felt down in the dumps, unmotivated, and unsure of my abilities as a mother, I understand how hard it can be. Over the last 18 years, while raising my two children, who are on the autism spectrum, I have come to realize a thing or two about myself and my abilities. I guarantee, that as your children age and develop, so will you! You will impress yourself! With so much growth personally, you will feel empowered and proud! I am sure that you can easily think of 10 hardships of raising a child on the spectrum, but I am here to give you 10 positives. You will receive many lessons while raising your children and I promise that you will be thankful for the gifts that autism brings into your life. Raising a neurodiverse child will make you a better person. I definitely like this improved, wiser version of myself!
10 Positive Qualities Gained From Raising a Child on the Autism Spectrum
1) You are stronger than you ever imagined! Raising your child with autism will give you a life full of growth that will be forever evolving. It will give you the drive to succeed. You will learn your success story is not about you. You will view everything through new lenses. Although your family life may be different from others, it does not make it horrible or sad. I don’t want someone else’s life, I love mine. You believe you have a good life, a meaningful life, and a life with purpose.
2) You will love with everything you have. You will appreciate the good in everything and have no problems voicing it to others. Love is what will keep you going! You will fully understand unconditional love and unknowingly, will teach others why, and how it is done. Your children know undoubtedly, that they are loved, and trust you wholeheartedly. You will be able to easily count your blessings. With all the ups and downs, you can easily pinpoint what you are thankful for. Having gone through some really tough times you are able to see even the smallest of gifts. Someone’s care, thoughtfulness, or kind gesture mean everything. You do not take anything for granted.
3) You will establish priorities. You will know what is best for your family. You will no longer be torn making decisions. It will become so clear as to what needs to be done to maintain your family’s cohesiveness, happiness, and livelihood. Saying, ‘no’ to others with confidence will become easy to do.
4) You will be graced with the gift of patience, beyond what you ever thought was possible. Trust me, I have been tested, and I still surprise myself with my abilities. In a house full of impatient people, patience has not only been handy, but necessary. Trust me, it is recognized and appreciated. I thank my lucky stars that at least one of us has it.
5) You will learn the importance of celebrating the little things. Perfect example: my daughter walked half a block to the bus stop today with no plead for a ride, it was the first time ever! It absolutely made my day; I was beaming with pride, It’s just that easy! Your children’s victories, whatever the size, will fulfill your heart. There is nothing too small to celebrate!
6) You will have no time or headspace for bullshit. Negative actions of others will become insignificant to your well-being because you will rid yourself of their nonsense and noise. Debbie Downers and Wendy Whiners will have no place in your life. Your own personal challenges are about all you can handle.
7) You will learn not to sweat the small stuff. You have already sweated through some really big stuff. There’s not much that phases you, or gets you wound. You can easily let go, and carry on. There is nothing you can’t get through! You are a warrior! You will always have a clear understanding of what is important and worth your energy and what is not.
8) You are the master preparer. You have become a follower of order, routine, and structure. You are now just as predictable as your child. Living this way has helped everyone in the household live a calmer, more productive life. You know all too well, that one shortfall could take days to recover, so you’ve become an expert.
9) You are an amazing friend. Many of your friendships dwindled over time, simply because of, ‘life.’ You also withdrew from the outside world for survival. Navigating autism and all its glory can be very overwhelming. You do get back on track and find your people. You are compassionate, supportive, non-judgmental, and authentically yourself. Because you have experienced loneliness, isolation, and heartache you are extremely intuitive and would hate for anyone to go through that alone. Anyone fortunate enough to have you as their friend has a friend for life. You are a good person.
10) You not only advocate autism acceptance to anyone who will listen, but you have accepted it yourself. You have become both an educator, and a supporter. You exude autism awareness and its importance to you is obvious. You are passionate, devoted, and determined to spread understanding. There is so much that still needs to be taught, discussed, and done for our children, and you will see to it, that you do your part.
Brenda Smith
Amazing article. You just keep getting better and better. I love how your patience has come through for you!!!
You are an incredible Mom!! Love you,
Mom
Rebecca Campol
Thanks mom! Love you too!
Larry Smith
You are an inspiration! Your insightful words and wisdom will assist so many of your readers.
Rebecca Campol
You may be a little biased- but I’ll take it! Thank you dad!
Sandra Ogden
Another amazing positive insight into the world of living with autism. You are awesome 👏 ❤️🤗. Aunt Sandy and Papa Joe.
Rebecca Campol
Thank you so much for all your support!
Lynn
You took the words right out of my mouth. It would have been so helpful if we knew of blogs like yours when we began our autism journey. However, that was long before iPads and there wasn’t much information available from families on their journey, at the time. Great advice! You are very inspiring.
Rebecca Campol
Thank you so much, Lynn! I totally agree, for the longest time I didn’t know anyone going through a similar journey! I’m hoping to change that for other parents!
Danni Bloom
This so very true. Thank you for posting. It has definitely been an exciting journey and I learn something new every day.
Rebecca Campol
Thank you Danni! It’s definietly a journey!
Tj
I have a 12 yr old nonverbal girl with autism, and as difficult as she can be, whenever she puts her head on my lap or hugs me, all my frustration and anger just kind of melts away.
Having a husband who is stubborn for years, and REFUSES to understand her needs and do what works is what is so hard for me. He’s old school and insists on trying to force her to be normal and discipline the misbehavior out of her. It only makes things worse. What’s even more frustrating is that he’s now got our other daughter believing that and going along with it. So when I try to talk reason about her special needs, they gang up on me and say she’s just being a brat.
Not having proper support is SO hard.
Rebecca Campol
Hi TJ, Parenting a special needs child can be challenging in so many aspects. Parenting unitedly, is even more challenging. Ideally, we all would like to be on the same page, but in reality, it is the most difficult of tasks. Trust me, when I say my husband and I haven’t seen eye to eye on every disciplinary response. I think as mom’s, we are more easily able to recognize certain behaviours as struggles or lagging skills faster and more clearly. Although, some behaviours aren’t ok, we understand them to be due to their neuological development and take a different approach rater than the more ‘traditional.’ Not all the pieces are adding up yet, they might, but they are still works in progresss. I look at these difficulties as opportunities to explain to my child how their behaviours are making me feel, and how it is impacting everyone in the household. I might also repeat alternative ways to respond to their frustrations multiple times a days. When my child behaves well, I try to recognize it with positive reinforment. Mothers have a history of being extremely intuitive, instinctly. Try to find some common ground with your husband, it’s ok to have your own beliefs but, I encourage you to have an open conversation with your husband to express your views, the importance of supporting one another and why you feel this way. Also, make time to hear him out. Sometimes, our partners don’t fully understand their child’s struggles and other times their tactics are actually the best way to handle a situation. Perhaps you can come up with some compromises, common goals, and tactics. Working with a counsellor definitely helped our family. Everyone listened and responded better to someone from the outside. The counsellor spent hours with my entire family, explaining the depths of my childs condition and why they struggle the way they do. She even provided us with some alternative ways of handling different behavours which we both could agree on. Having this support and training opened everone’s eyes and gave them a better understanding of autism as a whole. I need to note, that I am not a doctor, or an expert,… I’m simply a mom.
Thank you checking out Me Oh My, and for your comments!
David Brooks
When you don’t see eye to eye, does your husband have any “insider knowledge” that can be better than a neuro-typical?
Rebecca Campol
Absolutely David! It totally depends on the topic of our disagreement. There are definitely some situations where my husband truly understands better than I possibly could. But,… sometimes I like to think I’m right :). I must add that with such a diverse family, everyone, including my children, believes their way is the best. That’s a whole other article.
Katrina Shellman
Amazingly stated! I feel honored and celebrated as an AuSome Mom reading this post! Thank you, well stated❣😊💙🧩
Rebecca Campol
Hi Katrina, so glad you liked it!
I think it’s important to celebrate ourselves once in a while. I personally feel I have grown so much!
Diana Romeo
I laughed at # 8 – so true! Nice to see a list of positives.
Rebecca Campol
Haha, then you know it’s True Diana!
“8) You are the master preparer. You have become a follower of order, routine, and structure. You are now just as predictable as your child. Living this way has helped everyone in the household live a calmer, more productive life. You know all too well, that one shortfall could take days to recover, so you’ve become an expert.”
Duaa Magdy
Wow! Straight to the point!
God bless you and bless each and every one of us warriors 💙
Rebecca Campol
Thank you so much, fellow warrior!
KOHLHOFF4
Thank you!!1
Rebecca Campol
So glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for following!